A priest walks into a hotel and asks the receptionist:
– I hope you have disabled porn channel!
And the receptionist says:
– No, it's regular porn, you sicko!


Mickey: Minnie! I want to divorce!
Minnie: Are you fucking crazy?!?
Mickey: No, I'am fucking Daisy...


A CORK radio station was running a competition - words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logic sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: "96FM here, what's your name ?"
Caller:"Hi, me name's Dave."
DJ:"Dave, what's your word ?"
CAller: "Goan...spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'."
DJ:"... You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary.Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense ?"
Caller: "Goan f**k yourself !"
The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
DJ:"96FM, what's your name?"
Caller:"Hi, me name's Jeff."
DJ:"Jeff, what's your word ?"
Caller:"Smee...spelt S-M-E-E, pronaunced 'smee'."
DJ:"...You are correct, Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary.Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentance can you use that word in that would make sense ?"
Caller: "Smee again! Goan f**k yourself !"


Judge: "Mister Mickey Mouse, you can not divorce your wire just because she is stupid!"
Mickey: "I did not say she is stupid! I said she was fucking goofy!"


Can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives?
Well, smo-king, drin-king & fuc-king.


There goes an old lady to a nigger who is selling ice creams.
Lady: "Hi. I would like a vanilla-chocolate-strawberry ice cream in a cone..."
Nigger: "Umm sorry mam, I've just ran out of chocolate."
L: Ok then, I'd like a strawberry-vanilla-chocolate ice cream in a cone...
N: I've told you, I've run out of chocolate!
L: Ok then, I would like a chocolate-straw*
N: Wowowow ok mam, can I ask you to spell "van" as in "vanilla"?
L: Of course, it's v-a-n!
N: Ok, now can you spell "straw" as in "strawberry"?
L: Of course, it's s-t-r-a-w
N: Alright, now can you spell "fuck" as in "chocolate"?
L: Of course, it's...but hey! There is no "fuck" in "chocolate"!
N: THAT'S MY POINT. THERE IS NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!