Téma: Vtipy #19 - anglicky
-Maras-
Smazany
offline
33/408
Babice
offline
33/408
Babice
A priest walks into a hotel and asks the receptionist:
– I hope you have disabled porn channel!
And the receptionist says:
– No, it's regular porn, you sicko!
Mickey: Minnie! I want to divorce!
Minnie: Are you fucking crazy?!?
Mickey: No, I'am fucking Daisy...
A CORK radio station was running a competition - words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logic sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: "96FM here, what's your name ?"
Caller:"Hi, me name's Dave."
DJ:"Dave, what's your word ?"
CAller: "Goan...spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'."
DJ:"... You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary.Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense ?"
Caller: "Goan f**k yourself !"
The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
DJ:"96FM, what's your name?"
Caller:"Hi, me name's Jeff."
DJ:"Jeff, what's your word ?"
Caller:"Smee...spelt S-M-E-E, pronaunced 'smee'."
DJ:"...You are correct, Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary.Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentance can you use that word in that would make sense ?"
Caller: "Smee again! Goan f**k yourself !"
Judge: "Mister Mickey Mouse, you can not divorce your wire just because she is stupid!"
Mickey: "I did not say she is stupid! I said she was fucking goofy!"
Can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives?
Well, smo-king, drin-king & fuc-king.
There goes an old lady to a nigger who is selling ice creams.
Lady: "Hi. I would like a vanilla-chocolate-strawberry ice cream in a cone..."
Nigger: "Umm sorry mam, I've just ran out of chocolate."
L: Ok then, I'd like a strawberry-vanilla-chocolate ice cream in a cone...
N: I've told you, I've run out of chocolate!
L: Ok then, I would like a chocolate-straw*
N: Wowowow ok mam, can I ask you to spell "van" as in "vanilla"?
L: Of course, it's v-a-n!
N: Ok, now can you spell "straw" as in "strawberry"?
L: Of course, it's s-t-r-a-w
N: Alright, now can you spell "fuck" as in "chocolate"?
L: Of course, it's...but hey! There is no "fuck" in "chocolate"!
N: THAT'S MY POINT. THERE IS NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!
– I hope you have disabled porn channel!
And the receptionist says:
– No, it's regular porn, you sicko!
Mickey: Minnie! I want to divorce!
Minnie: Are you fucking crazy?!?
Mickey: No, I'am fucking Daisy...
A CORK radio station was running a competition - words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logic sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: "96FM here, what's your name ?"
Caller:"Hi, me name's Dave."
DJ:"Dave, what's your word ?"
CAller: "Goan...spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'."
DJ:"... You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary.Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense ?"
Caller: "Goan f**k yourself !"
The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
DJ:"96FM, what's your name?"
Caller:"Hi, me name's Jeff."
DJ:"Jeff, what's your word ?"
Caller:"Smee...spelt S-M-E-E, pronaunced 'smee'."
DJ:"...You are correct, Jeff, 'smee' is not in the dictionary.Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentance can you use that word in that would make sense ?"
Caller: "Smee again! Goan f**k yourself !"
Judge: "Mister Mickey Mouse, you can not divorce your wire just because she is stupid!"
Mickey: "I did not say she is stupid! I said she was fucking goofy!"
Can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives?
Well, smo-king, drin-king & fuc-king.
There goes an old lady to a nigger who is selling ice creams.
Lady: "Hi. I would like a vanilla-chocolate-strawberry ice cream in a cone..."
Nigger: "Umm sorry mam, I've just ran out of chocolate."
L: Ok then, I'd like a strawberry-vanilla-chocolate ice cream in a cone...
N: I've told you, I've run out of chocolate!
L: Ok then, I would like a chocolate-straw*
N: Wowowow ok mam, can I ask you to spell "van" as in "vanilla"?
L: Of course, it's v-a-n!
N: Ok, now can you spell "straw" as in "strawberry"?
L: Of course, it's s-t-r-a-w
N: Alright, now can you spell "fuck" as in "chocolate"?
L: Of course, it's...but hey! There is no "fuck" in "chocolate"!
N: THAT'S MY POINT. THERE IS NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!
Dominik-Duka
Smazany
offline
52/16676
Nebesa
offline
52/16676
Nebesa
1 reakcí na tento příspěvek Vtipy #19 - anglicky
dej sem něco čínsky, v kantonském nářečí, ať si taky počtu 
bikes
offline
92/3694
Bystré
92/3694
Bystré
Dominik-Duka>dej sem něco čínsky, v kantonském nářečí, ať si taky počtu
at z toho taky neco mas 
Un sacerdot entra en un hotel i demana a la recepcionista:
- Espero que compten amb un canal porno habilitat!
I la recepcionista diu:
- No, és porno normal, Sicko!
Mickey: Minnie! Vull el divorci!
Minnie: Estàs boig?!?
Mickey: No, Iam 'puto Daisy ...
Una estació de ràdio SURO corria un concurs - paraules que no estaven al diccionari i encara podrien ser utilitzat en una frase que tindria sentit la lògica. El premi era un viatge a Bali.
DJ: "96fm aquí, com et dius?"
Picador: "Hola, em dic Dave.
DJ: "Dave, quin és la teva paraula?"
Picador: "... Goa Goa escrit, que es pronuncia" go-un ".
DJ :"... Vostè té raó, Dave, "Goa" no està en el dictionary.Now, per a un viatge a Bali: Quina pena es pot utilitzar aquesta paraula en quin sentit? "
Picador: "Goa f ** k tu mateix!"
El DJ tallar la trucada es talla i altres trucades, tot sense èxit fins que:
DJ: "96fm, com et dius?"
Picador: "Hola, em dic Jeff."
DJ: "Jeff, quin és la teva paraula?"
Picador: "... Smee escrit S-M-E-E, pronaunced" Smee ".
DJ :"... Vostè té raó, Jeff, "Smee" no està en el dictionary.Now, per a un viatge a Bali: Què Sentance es pot utilitzar aquesta paraula en quin sentit? "
Picador: "Smee altra vegada! Goan f ** k tu mateix!"
Jutge: "Senyor Mickey Mouse, no pot divorciar de la seva cable només perquè és estúpid!"
Mickey: "Jo no he dit que és estúpida! Em va dir que estava maleït tonto!"
Pot dir-me el nom de tres grans reis que han portat la felicitat i la pau en la vida de les persones?
Bé, SMO-king, Drina-rei i fuc king.
Aquí va una senyora gran a un negre que és la venda de gelats.
Senyora: "Hola. M'agradaria un gelat de vainilla-xocolata-maduixa en un con ..."
Negre: "Umm mam ho sento, he acabat la xocolata".
L: Bé, doncs, m'agradaria un gelat de maduixa, vainilla, xocolata en un con ...
N: Ja t'he dit, m'he quedat sense xocolata!
L: Bé, doncs, vull una xocolata de palla *
N: mam Wowowow bé, puc demanar-li que escriu "van" com a "vainilla"?
L: Per descomptat, és una v-n-!
N: Ok, ara s'escriu "palla" com a "maduixa"?
L: Per descomptat, és s-t-r-un-w
N: Bé, ara pots lletrejar "merda" com a "xocolata"?
L: Per descomptat, és ... però hey! No hi ha merda "a" xocolata "!
N: Aquest és el meu punt. NO HI HA XOCOLATA merda!
Naposledy editováno 29.08.2010 12:48:05
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